Why I Gave Up My Dream of Becoming a Doctor

One year post graduation from college, I was working at my high school as a science teacher. The plan was to work for a year or two while beefing up my application to medical school, and become a more well-rounded individual before settling down for a grueling 4-year medical education. Today I’m married and a mother of one, with one on the way. This will be my sixth year as a science teacher, and sometimes I need to remind others (as well as myself), that I’m perfectly satisfied with the choice I made. It took a while for me to feel this way, but I no longer feel less of a person for making that choice, or avoid the topic when my parents bring it up (with disappointment in their voices of course). So why did I do it?

1. As much as I liked the idea of becoming a doctor, I wanted to be an involved wife and mom more. And this isn’t to say that you can’t have both while being a doctor-lots of women do it. I just knew that the goals I had as a future wife and mom would not fit with the schedule and pressure a doctor has to deal with. I imagined myself coming home too exhausted to spend time with my family, having to depend more and more on in-laws to babysit and raise my kids, and I decided that I wouldn’t be happy with that life, and I would have regrets at the end.
2. I did not want to study medicine at the expense of my health. Medical school students and residents have a LOT of stress: there’s constant testing, long clinic hours, and basically the main focus of your life is either the time you spend studying or the time you’re in the hospital seeing patients. When you’re under that kind of pressure all the time, making healthy choices in regards to sleep and food is hard. You have to be REALLY intentional about putting your health first.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle that-I’m sure that after a while I would have stopped caring and dropped out anyway, lol.
3. Traditional medical schools don’t teach enough prevention and natural remedies. It seems like any time you go to the doctor’s office with a complaint, they prescribe something just to give the patient peace of mind. Genuine health involves a balance between what you’re putting inside your body, your state of mind, and stressors. I feel like doctors should have more thorough training on how to prevent disease, and how to treat it without being so quick to prescribe pills. I used to work in a doctor’s office, and sales reps from pharmaceutical companies always used to come by to get us to use this or that drug on our patients. I can only imagine that these companies give doctors or hospitals bonuses when they order a certain amount for patients. My mother (who is a nurse) told me that one day all the nurses on her floor were convened and told to start encouraging (pressuring) patients to take the flu vaccine because the hospital was losing money put down for that particular expense. So at the end of the day, I just felt that the medical field just doesn’t always look out for the patient’s best interests.

Looking back now, I realize that my doctor dream was very idealized; I wasn’t ready for the rigors of medical school emotionally. Now that I’m married and a mom, I feel like I would probably be a lot more successful at it now, but I am still convinced that God has me at this particular place in my life for a reason, and that my life will be just as fulfilling, because I’m where He wants me to be.