1. Finances. I can’t emphasize the importance of being on the same page when it comes to what will happen to money you make. Different personalities have different approaches to money. One person might be the super saver who obsessively checks bank and credit card records several times a day, while the other is a free spirit who spends without checking on anything. One may like to save for big purchases while the other is an impulse buyer. One of the best things my husband and I did when it came to finances was to take a finance class together. You can check out the link here.
The way people handle money is a big index to their personality types and habits. Print out your credit reports and go over them together. Make a plan on how you will pay off your debts. Make a sample budget for when you start living together using your actual expenses. Will you be using credit cards or save up cash for purchases? Identify which of you will be keeping track of bills; which of you is a spender/saver? Remember that It’s not just about having joint or separate accounts-it’s about having a family vision for what you want to ultimately achieve. We wanted our kids to be able to go to college without taking out loans, and have something to pass on to our kids so that they wouldn’t be starting from zero like our parents did when they came to this country.
2. Conflict. How do you handle disagreements? Do you give each other the cold shoulder for days? Yell and curse at one another? Talk through a strategy that will help you both work through your problems calmly and respectfully, without demeaning the other person and treating them like an enemy. I’ve seen people get violent, post things about their significant other on social media, all these destructive things where emotions are in control. Habits like that will only serve to harden your hearts toward each other and allow pride and selfishness to destroy your love for one another.
These discussions need to be ongoing, even after the wedding. The first couple of years of marriage are rough, and there’s nothing wrong with going to counseling to help get through the rough patches. Your marriage will be all the stronger because of it. And if you’re really committed to a lifetime together, you’ll be willing to invest time and money into making it work.
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Prov31lady4life 